just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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