thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
