Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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