I CAN MOONWALK!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
