Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
