I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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