literally had 100 drinks last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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