dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
