we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
