hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
