God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
that is very illegal...i love you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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