if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There r osticjed everywhere
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i think i just lost a toe
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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