I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
