How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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