the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize