Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
