My liver just broke up with me...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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