OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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