i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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