it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize