Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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