i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
