? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
