Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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