first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
