I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
