if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
