Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
smell my finger.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
