What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize