I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
