I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
