Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
