fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
