guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
