I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it because I queefed?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
