You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
