i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize