Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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