we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
