i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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