and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
