Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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(817): View more from Texas

Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.

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(540): View more from Virginia

we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here

(540): View more from Virginia

you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times

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(585): View more from New York

i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold

(1-585): View more from New York

hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?

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(712): View more from Iowa

The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.

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(281): View more from Texas

Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.

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