My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
