it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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