This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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