i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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