Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
