well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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