do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
