i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
