Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
