I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
try to milk me bitch
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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