Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
