Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
