a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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