sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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