Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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