I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And then my night got REAL pukey
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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