Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
