On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
