those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
