you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
