Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
