So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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