You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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