She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
