my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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