So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I didn't notice because vodka
You pole danced in your parka.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
